Paul’s prayer in Colossians 1:9-12 starts off with, “We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord….”

The first phrase I looked at was “filled with the knowledge of His will.” Check my previous posts for the first two installments. Now I turn our attention toward the phrase, “walk worthy of the Lord…”

The six or so items in the “Prime Rib Prayer” in Colossians 1 are not separate, unrelated topics; they describe a progression. Paul prays for a filling of the knowledge of God’s will “SO THAT” you may walk worthy of the Lord…

So, once we are filled with the knowledge of what makes the Father happy, we then have the capacity to “walk worthy of the Lord.”

In Romans 6:5 Paul describes how believers have a new way of “walking,” a different way of living once we come to an understanding of our need for a Savior, “Therefore we were buried with Him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the Glory of the Father, so we too may walk in a new way of life.” Notice the Father’s glory is what raised Christ from the dead.

As believers in Jesus Christ, we don’t raise ourselves from a life of sin. We are raised up to walk in this new pattern of living by the power of the Father.

Elsewhere, in Galatians 2:20, Paul further explains how this new way of walking, of living, works: “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.” Jesus Christ is the only one who can live the Christian life. WE have a moment-by-moment decision to either cooperate with the Holy Spirit and let Christ live through us or walk in the failing power of the flesh.

To “walk worthy of the Lord” means that we are aware of our shortcomings, of our constant need for grace, and that we humbly agree to yield to the indwelling power of Christ to live and move through us.

In and of ourselves, we cannot walk in a manner worthy of the Lord. What is pleasing to the Father is for Him to see us fully dependent on Him, trusting Him to live, speak, and move through us.

The prophet Isaiah makes the quality of our good deeds quite clear: “All of us have become something unclean, and all our righteous acts are like a polluted garment; all of us wither like a leaf and our iniquities carry us away like the wind.” (Isaiah 64:6) It cannot be us who generate the ability for ourselves to walk, to live, in a way that pleases God.

So, then, doesn’t this progression leave us high and dry? Set us up for failure? Why should we be filled with an understanding of what pleases God if we don’t have the ability to carry out these things?

So that we can know God’s heart, and so we can ask him for strength and ability to walk obediently in specific ways. In and of myself I know I can’t muster up the ability to forgive people who have deeply wounded me. But God is clear in the Bible that we are to forgive one another as many times as the person offends us.

So, when I read the passages in Scripture about forgiveness, it becomes easy to see that forgiveness pleases the Father, that relational reconciliation matters to Him in His carefully crafted system of living.

Therefore, I am compelled to humbly pray and ask God to soften my heart toward the person who has wounded me, and ask for the supernatural ability to genuinely forgive this person.

This progression in Paul’s prayer has a built-in means of making us see our absolute need, our utter reliance on God to do anything remotely pleasing to Him.

As we “walk worthy of the Lord” by relying on Him to live the Christian life through us, a special spiritual intimacy cannot help but develop before our very eyes!

Next post: “Fully Pleasing To Him…”

The Message of our Society – Take it Easy
Our culture preaches convenience. Our busy lifestyles frequently leave us gasping for breath at the end of the workday. We take an even deeper breath once we limp into the weekend, those precious two days many of us live for. Almost everything we do focuses on convenience – microwave meals, dvr’s, wifi, and the like. We have become so protective of our precious moments of free time that we have relied on innovation to somehow get us through to the next thing. We like convenience.

Our culture preaches comfort. Look at everything we touch in a days’ time – our beds, our driver’s seats, our office chairs, our computer keyboards, our recliners. Not only do we prefer our physical environments to feel nice, we especially want all of our social, business, and spiritual interactions to feel nice, too. If there’s discomfort, we back away and look for something a little more cozy. We gravitate toward comfort.

Many of us attend church because it’s comfortable and convenient. We enjoy the small talk with our acquaintances before and after church. We’ve become familiar with our pastor’s messages, the worship leader’s performance, and the flow of information that comes our way on any given weekend service. Except for occasionally being asked to sit, stand, and shake hands, the average church service doesn’t really ask much of us. Quite convenient, very comfortable.

The Message of Jesus – Come to Me
The message of the Jesus Christ, on the other hand, is far from convenient or comfortable. He asks us to give up living for ourselves, to forgive those who hurt us, to love the unloveable, to walk away from things that break the Father’s heart, to trust God to provide for our needs, to thank Him for everything that comes our way (the good, the bad, and the ugly), to live differently from the world. Jesus’ message is both inconvenient and uncomfortable.

On any given weekend, we are bound to hear aspects of this message. We have the option of taking heed of this message or ignoring it. The disconnect we see comes when the convenience and comfort of church meet the inconvenience and discomfort of the message of Jesus. Because we are so completely geared toward easy things, we continue attending church but choose to compartmentalize the message. We like the nice things of church, but we push the hard things of the Gospel to the back of the pantries of our minds.

A Choice to Make
Every one of us who attends church has a week-by-week, and moment-by-moment choice to make. How will we live? Which directives will we allow to dictate our lifestyles? As they say, the proof is in the pudding. The average churchgoing Christian lives as if they weren’t associated with the message of Jesus. However, Christ compels us to live life His way: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” If we take Jesus up on His invitation, we will discover that the paradox of living life the Lord’s way will bring rest, peace, and true comfort. If we live life on God’s terms, our practical atheism will disintegrate before our very eyes.

I suggest a slight change in the first model when it comes to prayer. Instead of ASK, LISTEN, RESPOND, I think we should focus on LISTEN, ASK, RESPOND. You might think, then, that we may wait a long time before hearing from God. Not so fast.

We tend to expect God to speak in an audible voice, through some sort of sign, or through an arrangement of circumstances. While I do believe that God can and does communicate through these means, I believe He was very careful and deliberate in putting together and preserving the text of the Bible throughout history in order to give us at least a basic understanding of His will. A friend of mine once speculated that 90% of God’s will (His desires and wishes) can be determined by understanding the Bible.

Houston, we have a problem. This takes work! In our society, most people aren’t willing to take the time to prepare a good, nutritious meal. We look for the fastest, most convenient foods we can toss in the microwave, or, worse yet, that we can grab through the drive through on the way home from work. If we aren’t willing to carve out extra time to prepare healthier food (a basic need for human life), how can we expect ourselves to carve out time to work at understanding Scripture better?

Are we at an impasse, then? Perhaps. Some of us may feel that the effort needed to become a good student of the Bible isn’t worth it. Let me offer a word of caution: our world, our culture, and our media are filled with counterfeit spirituality, offering convenient pick-me-ups that feel good but actually miss the mark of what pleases God. If your spiritual diet consists primarily of stuff you passively pick up through t.v., movies, music, or video games, you will suffer from spiritual indigestion sooner or later. Paul the Apostle warned the young church in Ephesus to not be “tossed by the waves and blown by every wind of teaching.” This buffet of convenient yet counterfeit spirituality can drive a wedge between us and a truly intimate connection with God. Not only that, this unhealthy diet can lead us to act in ways contrary to what is pleasing to God.

Belief naturally leads to action. If my spiritual beliefs are based on what I hear on the radio or what I see on the screen, I can unwittingly start to act on some new yet inaccurate beliefs. You may be thinking, “Surely you would mean well. How can God fault you for that?” In God’s understanding of the universe (which is pretty good, considering He created it), and His carefully crafted system of living within that universe, we do not get A’s for effort. Think about it in terms of food.

Let’s say you secretly hate green beans because they make you sick for days. You have been invited to have dinner with some friends at their house, but they neglected to ask you if you have any food preferences. Somehow, through a mutual friend with wrong information, your hosts learn that green beans are your absolute favorite. When you sit down to eat, did this false set of beliefs lead to you being pleased at the dinner table? Probably not. A green bean is a green bean, regardless of your hosts’ good intentions.

The Bible, in its original manuscripts, is the inspired Word of God, penned by men who were obedient to God’s direction. Many Bible translations that are on the market today have attempted to be faithful to the original manuscripts. The best ones are the word-for-word translations, like the ESV or NASB, or a hybrid word-for-word/idea-for-idea translation like the Holman Christian Standard. Paraphrase versions, while easy to read, have a greater potential to be inaccurate as compared to the original manuscripts.

Instead of relying on the world around you to tell you what God wishes and desires, trust that the Bible is His message to whomever will listen. The Bible is trustworthy. Gaining understanding of the Bible is not quick or convenient, but will allow you to grow in the knowledge of God’s will. You will not be disappointed in your endeavor.

Now to the matter of the word “filled.” Are you “filled with knowledge” about anything? At times, after lots of exposure to ESPN and Denver Broncos football, I could possibly say that I have been filled with knowledge about football. I am a fan of the sport and have been since I was in junior high. I have a knack from remembering the most inconsequential trivia about teams and players, even from 20 years ago. I developed a passion for the game. I didn’t want to miss one detail of a game or an offseason transaction. I was hooked. I made the time to be hooked.

Filled with the knowledge of God’s will requires that we are fillable. Do we have room? Have we been emptied of everything else so as to have room for thoughts of God and His desires?

Most natural lakes have at least one inlet, where fresh water flows in from a stream or river. Ponds or lakes without an inlet tend to become stagnant, gross, and smelly.

To be an effective minister of Christ and an obedient child of the King of the universe, we must have a regular inflow of fresh water, fresh insight from the Word of God so that we can be filled with the knowledge of what He wants.

What a wonderful thing to pray about for yourself and others! Paul found it to be such a priority that he frequently prayed for this filling of knowledge for the believers in Colossae.

Over the next several weeks I will be writing a series on prayer. Mind you, it’s not necessarily the type of prayer we’re used to praying. Most prayer requests that I’ve seen over the years, printed in church bulletins have to do with temporal things, are along the lines of healing Aunt Suzy’s cat, or finding Fred a job, etc. I am not saying these things are insignificant. Please don’t misunderstand. But these temporal, temporary things that we tend to pray for are not as important as the eternal, spiritual aspect of our lives and of those who live within our sphere of influence. Looking at the two types of prayer here is like comparing a Happy Meal with a serving of prime rib.

In most of the Apostle Paul’s letters to various churches, he finds it important to mention what he is praying for about the people in that particular church. After a careful look at these prayers of Paul, it is quite clear that, while he was mindful of the temporary needs of people, he made it a priority to focus on the spiritual needs of his friends.

The first Prime Rib Prayer that I will dissect over the next few weeks will be the one found in the book of Colossians 1:9-12:

“We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God. may you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience, with joy giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the saints’ inheritance in the light.”

In this passage I find at least six things that I will focus on over the next couple of weeks, things that Paul deemed vital to pray for regarding his friends in Colossae.

“Filled with the Knowledge of His Will”
Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane, “Not my will but Yours be done.” the will of the Father was and is paramount. Even Jesus Christ, the Creator of the universe, sought the will of the Father.

What is “will”? [either "the power of conscious action or choice," or "wish; pleasure."] Makes me think of the phrase spoken out of humility, “your wish is my command.” So, learning what the will of the Father is is to determine what pleases Him, what His desires are.

This brings me to Christmas gifts. I’ve had to buy gifts for people where I had to guess, more or less, as to what they would like. i don’t like wasting gifts on people. I like them to be meaningful and to count for something. How, then, can I be sure not to waste a gift? By doing some research, i.e. getting to know someone. What makes them tick? What are their preferences? What would be offensive to them? How can I make this person feel valued, loved, appreciated?

Perhaps I oversimplify here, but I believe there are two key ingredients in getting to know someone. TIME and QUESTIONS. Time, because with some consistency you can observe a person’s desires and preferences. Questions, because by them you have the potential to dig to the core of a person’s soul, below the surface, and discover true intimacy.

So, Paul’s prayer about learning about God’s will requires the same ingredients. Learning what pleases the Father takes consistency over time. Through His Word we are able to see patterns, themes, and repetitions, things that indicate what pleases or breaks God’s heart. Any exposure to God’s Word is good, but what is better for your lawn, one minute of watering, or an hour’s worth?

What about the second ingredient, asking questions? When it comes to knowing God and the things that are important to Him, we should ask both questions about Him and questions of Him. The former, asking questions about Him, should directly apply to how we study the Bible. Basic investigative reporting brings us to “who, what, when, where, why, & how.” Not a bad place to start in attempting to understand the Bible!

Regarding asking questions of God, these are part of our dialogue with Him called “prayer.” Now, if my conversations with my girlfriend only comprised of me asking questions, the conversation would be lopsided, and would feel like an interrogation to her. Same with asking questions of God. If we only asked questions or made requests in prayer, we would be robbing ourselves of potential closeness with God, the One who orchestrated our spiritual liberation from sin as well as arranged our adoptions as His kids.

***Tomorrow, look for the conclusion to the “Filled with the Knowledge of His Will” section***

She paused for a moment, and excitedly glanced to her husband and reflected on a passage she was just reading, something about meeting others of similar belief for encouragement’s sake. The otherwise pleasant husband’s countenance immediately darkened, and said, “I don’t want to talk about personal spirituality! I’m tired, grouchy, and have no interest in discussing that right now!” The wife silently withdrew into the comfort of her book for the remainder of the train ride.

My Evangelistic Evolution
Within the last couple of years, my mindset toward spiritual conversations has shifted. Although I’ve been in ministry in a variety of capacities for about 15 years, I’ve not always been comfortable in bringing Jesus Christ up in my interactions with those who don’t know Him.

When I became a Christian at 20, I was willing to talk to Christians about Christ, but was nervous to broach the subject with non-Christians. Therefore, I hardly did.

When I was 25 and working in college ministry, I had become a little bit bolder in my conversations concerning Jesus once I actually started them, but was still hesitant. When I did begin spiritually focused dialogues, though, I’m sure people could see that there was a hidden agenda behind my questions.

When I was 30, I was leading a youth ministry, but was so focused on discipleship that evangelism wasn’t a personal priority nor a collective one.

I am now 35, and, within the last nine months, the Lord has begun eradicated my apathy and fear of sharing Christ with others. Last September I went to an evangelism conference near Chicago. The basic gist of this conference was to encourage believers to begin seeker-sensitive small groups that would allow the spiritually curious to engage in dialogue about Jesus, about God, about the world we live in, and about the Bible, all in a setting that made the unchurched person feel welcome and comfortable, helping them discover for themselves the answers to their questions.

This three-day conference started off with something called “Outsider Interviews,” where two non-Christian women were on stage with a moderator who interviewed them about their perspectives on Christianity and on Christians. The hundred or so attendees were in shock at the women’s brutally honest answers. It hurt to hear for the first time that Christians were seen as judgmental, arrogant, condemning, unapproachable, and unkind.

The remainder of the conference was spent in learning about a paradigm shift in evangelism. If the spiritually curious aren’t willing to step through the doors of a church to find their answers, then we have to go out to them. Plus, I learned how important it is to offer genuine friendship whether that non-Christian chooses or rejects Jesus.

Since January, I have been helping lead a neighborhood group. For six weeks we went through a Bible study on the last week of Jesus’ life, and now we are going through some tough question discussions (i.e. “Why does God allow suffering?” or “Don’t all religions lead to God?”). One woman in our group and I had a side-conversation, where I asked her, “So, do I understand you correctly, that you’re willing to accept Jesus as A way to God, but not as THE way to God at this point?” She explained that, no, she hadn’t made that decision yet, but that she was still willing to consider Jesus as THE way. She said, “I am still searching.” Up until that conversation, I was under the distinct impression that she was okay with any religion and that Jesus was just a peripheral character in the eternal big picture. For her to explain that she was still open to the idea of Jesus being who He said He was, “the Way, the Truth, and the Life,” validated this seeker-friendly small group approach in my mind.

In Genuine Pursuit of People
This past week in a study on the Gospel of John I’m doing with some young men at my church, we read chapter 9, where Jesus heals a man who is born blind. The religious leaders interrogate the guy, his parents, and Jesus about why and how this miracle happened. The formerly blind guy stands up to the leaders, and they through him out of the Jewish temple, preventing him from being able to worship God in the context he’s known his whole life.

What happens then? Jesus goes out looking for this guy. He pursues him. Once He finds the formerly blind dude, Jesus cuts straight to the chase. He doesn’t talk about the weather or about the awful treatment the Pharisees gave the guy. Jesus asks him if he believes in the “Son of Man.” The guy explains that he does not, but asks Jesus who it is, and Jesus reveals that it is, in fact, the man he is talking to. Jesus revealed Himself to this man as the Messiah, the completion and fulfillment of the Old Testament prophecies, the One who would save us from the penalty of sin! On the spot, the man believed, and responded to his interaction with Jesus by worshipping God!

My hope is that I will pursue people. Not in a creepy sort of way that makes them feel like I have a hidden agenda or that I’m only interested in their response to Jesus. But I want to make friendship a priority – not only with those who know Jesus, but those who are yet to know Jesus. My goal is to show these people, Christians and non, the love of Jesus in my words and deeds. Not in an awkward sort of way, I want to bring up spiritual things in my conversations with people in the natural flow of the give-and-take. Genuine friendship.

I believe that “success” in evangelism needs to have a new definition. Many people rate success on the number of people who accept Jesus, who say the “sinner’s prayer.” Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 3:6 that several people are involved in the process of bringing people to Christ. Paul planted the seed, his associate Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. I think a biblical view of evangelistic success is faithfulness. Did we initiate conversations about Jesus when we were provided an opportunity? Did we pursue friendships, even if it was with someone not of like mind? Did we rearrange our priorities to allow time for friendship building, even if it meant sacrificing something fun?

I pray that each of us will make it a priority to seek God’s direction in all things, in particular about sharing Christ with people, and that we’d be faithful in doing what He prompts us to do.

We’re created to connect… but beware!

Unhealthy Conneciton

Our culture heaps so much pressure on us to feel the need to have a significant other. I remember in early middle school being asked by friends if I had a girlfriend, with the understanding that if I didn’t have one, I was not as cool, not as important, not as good as the rest. Media and entertainment conveys the same message on an hourly basis through our tv shows, movies, and songs.

Many, many guys I’ve spoken to, ages 15 – 25, live a life of desperate searching for “the one.” That, somehow, once she’s found, life will be complete. Many times, these dudes, once they find the girl of “their dreams,” and date for a short time, become disenchanted, break up, (or be dumped), and resume the search. Why? Because I think many guys (gals, too) are not looking for a relationship, but the IDEA of a relationship. I think many of these easily disenchanted types are driven by codependency. I know several guys who have a new girlfriend (or two) each time we speak.

As long as we NEED a girlfriend or boyfriend to be happy, fulfilled, or complete, we will never be happy. If you are in this crowd, the last thing you should do is have a boyfriend or girlfriend. This type of relating dumps a ton of pressure on your significant other’s shoulders. Even if you don’t explicitly say that you NEED that person to be happy, he or she will sense it. The pressure on them to be everything for you will drown that person and sour your relationship. Every time.

Season of Singleness

The best relational advice I heard was to wait at least two years after my divorce before looking for someone, to use that time to figure out who I was, to allow myself time to heal, and to become whole in Christ. Whether you’ve had a meaningful dating relationship before or not, take an extended period of time (at least one year) to work on YOU. Ask God to reveal to you your emotional and spiritual needs. Ask Him to be your strength. Spend daily time journaling your journey. This will be difficult at times. But, if you allow God to show you through the Bible and through His Holy Spirit, you will learn some surprising things about yourself. You will discover some really cool things, too. Above all, this season of intentional singleness will help you develop trust in the high level of care God has for you.

Healthy Connection

In response to the question, “What five items would you have with you if you were stranded on an island,” a great gal I’m getting to know said she’d want, among other things, the game “Apples to Apples.” She then proceeded to explain that she’d teach the monkeys on the island to play the game. What a funny picture! However, her response shows our innate need for relationship, for interacting, for inter-dependence (not to be confused with co-dependence).

We are wired to connect with people. We’re not meant to be hermits. We’re meant to interact with other people, and with God, on a variety of levels (see my blog post, Let’s NOT Talk About the Weather).

But, the catch, I think, is that the best way of connecting with others is when we have been filled by Christ. From the overflow of His provision in our hearts, we can be a blessing to those we are around.

Be encouraged. If you’re single, count yourself blessed to have an opportunity to hear God’s voice about who you are and what you need. If you’re in a relationship, take the pressure off of your guy or gal and connect with him or her from the overflow of your relationship with God. Then sit back and enjoy a healthy relationship together!

Last night I began the process of digging through every word, every sentence, every recipe to ensure proper spelling, grammar, and consistent formatting. Along the way, I noticed something peculiar- my stomach was growling and my mouth was watering!

As I examined recipes for bacon-wrapped water chestnuts, bread pudding, baked oatmeal, stuffed mushrooms, and crock pot Italian beef, I realized that I was becoming quite hungry for the meals I was reading about!

What else am I hungry for? I think we all tend to crave the things we focus on. The motorcycle I bought two years ago? That came from dwelling on and thinking non-stop about being free to fly down the road on two wheels, letting the wind blow through my hair. The Mac that I’m sitting at at this very moment? As I began my freelance business, I had a constant gaze toward getting the proper equipment equal to the task of writing, editing, and voice recording.

I’ve noticed I’m this way with both good things and not-so-good things. I am a nervous eater, so if I am stressed to the max, I find myself chowing down on larger-than-normal quantities of unhealthy food. It takes a supernatural act to pull me away from my bent toward food satisfaction. Really, I bet any of our sins fall in the same category – we think it, we want it, we drive toward it, we fight ’til we get it, hoping it makes us feel better about life.

A few weeks ago a gal from church returned home from college for a weekend visit. She had told me months before that this was a particularly tough semester. A terrible accident had happened to two of her fellow students. A young man and woman were sitting under a tree, perhaps near a lake (I don’t remember). But a large tree fell, in a freak accident, hitting both of them. One of the students was killed, the other critically injured. My friend told me that the weight of the accident has been hard to shake, even months after it happened.

However, when she came home for a weekend, I saw a renewed focus on her part. Previously she stated she was really struggling, that she had a tough time making sense of everything. But the weekend she was home, she spoke with a resiliency that only comes from a healing heart, a healing heart that can only come from the touch of the Master Physician. She mentioned a verse from the Bible a handful of times, and it has been lingering in my mind since she’s gone back to college:

Hebrews 12:2 – “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

My friend had a lot of things she could have been fixing her eyes on. Heartache. Faltering faith. Sadness. Confusion. But the Lord had given her a refreshed, renewed set of eyes to see life through. Her words she spoke with were infused with hope, with joy, with passion, and with purpose. She didn’t suddenly become oblivious to the terrible accident that happened earlier in the semester. But she chose to change her paradigm, her perspective. As she’s been fixing her gaze on Christ, she’s been given the ability to heal, to make sense of things, to have the courage to move forward. Kudos to her! I have a lot to learn from her experience…

Jesus Christ mentioned those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, that they’d be filled. While a tasty helping of “Aunt Suzy’s Potato Salad,” or pumpkin bars might make my mouth happy for a short time, I want to become more aware of what will satisfy my soul, the deepest longings of my life. The King of the Universe, seated on the throne, awaits to fill every need.

Stay hungry, my friends….

At the end of the story, Wendy the “mother” to all the lost boys, ends up growing into an adult, marrying, and having a child of her own. Peter Pan, as promised, comes to visit years later to get Wendy to help with spring cleaning. Well, Wendy sates, “I have forgotten how to fly.” She simply cannot leave her life of responsibility to return to Neverland.

This is reminiscent of at least two other stories. I love the Chronicles of Narnia, but one melancholy moment that strikes me deeply is when the ever-so-logical Susan is no longer able to return to Narnia because she’s become so serious-minded, she can’t bring herself to believe in Aslan anymore. I am also reminded of the more recent Polar Express, where those who don’t believe in Santa cannot hear the jingling of the Christmas bell from Santa’s sleigh.

Where’s the balance? As a youth minister, I have the privilege of using my spiritual gift of goofiness to build bridges with young adults. I thoroughly enjoy laughing heartily, being silly, and subjecting myself to plenty of jokes and pranks. These things are a part of my joie de vivre, the joy of living.

Another part of my life, though, is the day-to-day responsibility. The bills, the meetings, sometimes having to wear a necktie, setting a good example, taking care of my health, etc. Peter Pan wouldn’t approve of many of these adult-level necessities.

Yet -
I still want to fly.
I still want to enter Narnia.
I still want to ride the Polar Express.

I am not about to abandon the things that I’ve committed to as an adult. I’m still working on making my “yes be yes, and my no be no.” However -

The other day I was speaking with a teenage friend of mine. She is an enthusiastic supporter of Compassion International, and is involved with a few international kids’ lives. She had recently received some new pictures of one of “her” children. We both noticed as we perused the photo was the lack of smiles on the faces in the picture. Many children and a few adults were at a birthday party. Not one person was smiling. Now, I would bet that before and after that camera flash flashed, most everyone was having an enjoyable time at the celebration. But some cultures (including American culture in previous generations), for some reason, do not think it’s necessary or proper to smile for a photo.

I don’t want my life to reflect these anti-smile photographic cultures. I don’t want to be so wrapped up in the seriousness of life that I forget to smile. Or laugh. Or fly.

Crossroads of Joy
That leads me to my goal, then. I have two goals that must, somehow, mesh. As I mentioned before, I won’t give up my adult responsibilities. That would be foolish. But I also do not want to trade in my smile for a scowl, my laugh for a grunt. Then I must look to constantly protect the culture of Brandon. What does that look like?

The Value of Humor
One of my business clients, a corporation that plans large-scale governmental and amateur sporting events, lists as one of their corporate values as “humor.” How refreshing is that?! They clearly take their business seriously, or else they would not have had the success they’ve enjoyed for a quarter of a century. But they haven’t forgotten to laugh. Or smile. Or, dare I say, “fly.”

As I approach my life, then, with all the meetings, bills, etc., I want to list as one of my values “humor.” I’m not talking about a superficial, fake laughter that comes at awkward moments. I’m not speaking of a pretend smile that is as detectable as generic macaroni and cheese (the stuff does not compare to Kraft!). I am talking about a genuine life, full of joy, laughter, smiles, and humor, infused by the joy that comes from a thankful heart. God is the giver of all good things, and when I’ve recognized His goodness toward me in small things and in big, I can’t help but smile.

I find myself
flying -
living in Narnia -
and believing in the giver of all good gifts.

She was also a lifelong musician, having played the piano from the time she was five until her death at 57. During her younger years, she was also quite the vocallist. Both areas of music garnered her quite a bit of success and potential collegiate attention, though she never attended due to circumstances out of her control. Our family certainly benefited, enjoyed, and to varying degrees carried on her musical legacy.

I happened upon an old poem she had written, probably at least 30 years ago. She’s been gone now for almost 16 years, but I’m thankful to have bits and pieces of her legacy, including her music and writing. Her poem, though, deeply troubles me. I think my mom battled with depression most of her life, and this poem, entitled “Despair,” is suffused with hopelessness.

From my understanding, most types of depression are not hereditary, except for maybe manic depression or bi-polar. But what is handed down through generations are ways in which we handle the stressors in our lives. I know my mom withdrew when she was under stress. So do I. She had a fiery temper which flared when she was under stress. Until I was about 20, so did I. When things got significantly difficult for my mom, she had an escapist mentality – she had things that she clung to beyond moderation to try to take the edge off of stress. I’ve seen that trend in my own life. Bottom line – I appreciate the legacy she left behind, her writing, her musicality. But she, in part, helped pass on to me a less-than-ideal way of handling small and big stresses.

I am not saying that she is to blame for my severe depression that I’ve been climbing out of for the last 11 months. However, I believe I have followed the model she set for me in handling tough stuff for the majority of my childhood and adult life.

Reading my mom’s poem is a renewed wake-up call for me. How did I used to cope with stress? How do I handle it now, now that I’m aware of my depression, now that I am aware of what triggers my knee-jerk reactions to stress? Am I making progress?

I want to encourage each of us to take inventory of what we do under pressure, under stress, in the midst of difficulties. Write down all the habits and thought patterns that you revert to by default. Examine them each carefully and determine whether they are healthy and helpful. If not, talk the list over with someone you trust. Ask them for advice and accountability in trying to overcome those things. Pray and ask for God’s supernatural help, that He’d transform those stress reactions. Replace any of those negative stress reactions with productive, positive things. Learn to talk through your frustrations with people in constructive ways. Discover new hobbies. Take a daily walk. Whatever it takes to turn the tide on detrimental behaviors related to stress.

Here is a copy of my mom’s poem. While it’s well written, it’s sad, melancholy. Enjoy and appreciate her words in an artistic sense, as I do. More importantly, let her poem be a compelling reminder of how stress can suck the joy out of life. Conversely, if stress is handled properly, we open ourselves up to many avenues of joy we otherwise would have missed out on.

Despair

Oh, for the gift of tongues
That I might speak of that
Which is hidden in the
Deep, dark corners of my mind!

I have struggled -in vain-
To plumb the depths of my very soul
To find some breath of reality -
Just some hint of meaning.

Long have I probed
With cold, cruel fingers -
Trying to penetrate the
Very core of my feeblemindedness.

But look! See there?!
A small glimmer of light!
The light of truth, and
The reason for these truths:

The reason for death and destruction -
Hatred and cruelty; the reason for
Sorrow and pain, agony and heartache;
The reason for living.

It is the light of hope!
Hope for your world -and mine
And for all the worlds to come -
And ————the light of love!

Oh, no! ——–Please, no! It’s gone!
The light is gone! And now,
Now, truth, reason and love
Shall remain unrevealed—

Locked up in this —- this
Damnable dungeon —
Buried in this grey, cold
Lump of clay –
To lie there —
Meaningless —-
Forever!

~Bette Miller~

“The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.”
~Deuteronomy 29:29

We attempt often to measure and assess the infinite with our finite measuring sticks. We apply what we understand, what we have figured out, what we have calculated, to what we don’t understand, to what we haven’t figured out, to what we can’t calculate. We just don’t like not knowing. We humans don’t do well with uncertainty or with “missing pieces to the puzzle.” Especially regarding spiritual matters. Many of us tend to say, “the jury’s still out,” when we come to a crossroads. Since we don’t and can’t have an all-encompassing, glossy print of the “big picture,” we reserve judgment. We hold off on accepting certain things as “truth.”

Philosophers, debaters, and great thinkers have been around for ages, yet each one of these great minds is finite. Our greatest arguments, our most convincing conclusions, all have at least one flaw – they are short-sighted.

This verse that my friend passed on to me encourages me, at least to some degree. The things that we have come to understand are the things that the God of the universe has revealed to us. He allows us to see whatever it is we see, collectively and individually. If this verse is true, then we must trust that what we do see is from Him, and what we don’t or can’t understand is being withheld by design. Isaiah the prophet elaborates on this concept a bit –

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’”
~Isaiah 55:8-9

This passage goes on to describe how the Lord’s words don’t return empty, but that they accomplish His special purposes. The verse in Deuteronomy and this Isaiah passage, working in concert, paint a picture of a purposeful, deliberate God who carefully reveals certain things and holds back on other things. This picture of God, in regard to belief, requires a decision enveloped in trust -

Trust that He is good.
Trust that He is competent.
Trust that He fully comprehends the big picture.
Trust that He has the power to carry out His purposes.
Trust that what He does reveal is for our benefit, so that we can seek Him and find Him.
Trust that we don’t need to know right this second the things He has chosen to withhold from
us.

One difficulty many skeptics try to deal with is the problem of “blind faith.” If the Deuteronomy verse is true, then trusting God is not an exercise in blind faith. Whether through the Bible, or through people, or through circumstances, or through His Holy Spirit, God purposefully reveals certain things to us. He gives us enough light to move forward, to see what we must see. I would argue, then, that there is no such thing as “blind faith,” but perhaps “assisted vision,” instead.