An Open Letter to My Beloved Confluence Church

Dear Confluence Church,

I hope you are all doing well this evening. Been thinking a lot about you these last couple of days, and I thought I’d drop a line. Mostly a thank-you letter, with a few extras sprinkled in.

First, I have to say that these two months that my wife, son, and I have been a part of your fellowship have been a significant blessing to us. Although we miss our home church three hours north of here, we feel like we’ve discovered new family here. Operating as a house church has its unique challenges; however, it also has it’s unique privileges. While I’m still adjusting to life without pews, I am gladly soaking in the sense of earnest community.

My wife told me the other day that a great tag line for Confluence Church would be, “More Than Just Church.” She is absolutely right! When I walk through the door (or host our meetings at our house), I don’t feel like I need to put on any kind of front. Whether I’m in a great mood or crummy one, whether I’m tired, depressed, or ridiculously joyful, I feel warmly embraced by people who are also not wearing masks. Whether I preach well or lay a goose egg, whether I’m coherent or not, you all are so incredibly accepting and loving.

One thing that earnest community does is celebrate together the victories and cry together in the defeats. In these short two months, we’ve had opportunities to come alongside hurting people, mentor challenging pre-teen boys, encourage fathers, support overwhelmed college students, bless busy families, and get to know new friends who are just kind of floating by.

Confluence Friends, you’ve been a real encouragement to me spiritually. How refreshing it’s been to take a month off of planned or programmed times together! Instead, our times of deliberate prayer and worship have been amazing! We’ve been able to get to know each other quickly, and we’ve been able to seek God’s will for our small fellowship. And yes, I do mean fellowship in the biblical sense. Not just “get together and goof around,” like most people define “fellowship.” I mean “partnership” together. We’ve been a fledgling church on a mission. A mission to:

**Seek God’s face

**Worship Him

**Understand God’s Word together

**Build unity and community together

**Devote ourselves to good teaching, partnership, eating together, and praying together.

Regardless of what we look like in five years in terms of size, location, or format, I pray that we don’t lose this part of our identity. If we do, then we need to put on the brakes and move on to church b, c, or d. Stay committed to what God has shown you to be thus far. You are a beautiful, organic thing, Confluence Church.

Here are a couple of things I’d like to encourage you with.

**Don’t be afraid to do this stop-the-presses-and-pray-for-a-month thing OFTEN. Our regularly scheduled programming can just wait. 😉

**Don’t be afraid to be uncomfortable. God may ask us to reach out to a particular group of people we don’t know well, or He may want us to move beyond our ecclesiastical, church preferences. More hymns, more worship choruses, more electric guitar, more banjo, more cowbell, more drama, more dance, more food, more time. God could ask us to have more or less of anything.  Let’s let Him lead…

**Don’t be afraid to be bold. As we become a light in our neighborhoods and in our town, we will be called to say things that aren’t very popular. We can’t shrink back. And we can’t be shy when it comes to sharing the truths of the Bible with each other.

**Don’t be afraid of the extremes. One day God may show us that Confluence was just for a short season and ask us to all to move on to other fellowships. OR He may have bigger plans for our church, and call us to expand our family by hundreds or maybe thousands. Trust God for direction and the courage to move that way.

**Don’t be afraid to fail. We could make some well-intentioned decisions and do some things that just fall flat. That’s okay. God’s still on His throne and He’ll never go on vacation or lose our file. He’s got us covered.

Thank you for letting God use you all to impact my life. God’s goodness is evident, and His Spirit is alive and working in each of you. Don’t quit!

“Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.” Colossians 2:6-7

Thanks for taking a moment to hear me out. Until we see each other again soon-

All the Way Home,

Brandon

p.s. Thanks for all the coffee.

Hard to Live for Christ

It’s hard to live for Jesus. It’s only going to get harder.

The Perfect Storm
I’m not prophetic, but I’m speaking based on what I’m observing all around me. Our American society is becoming increasingly less friendly toward Christ and His followers. Legislation at various levels attempts to push Christ to the margins of society. Not only are lawmakers putting the squeeze on Christ, so is our culture at large. Individuals and corporations who embrace open-mindedness and tolerance are only so as long as Jesus Christ stays home. Every other system of belief is welcome, just not Jesus. Why do you think Tim Tebow has been such a polarizing sports figure in the last year? The sports nation wants to embrace this kid who throws awkwardly but wins, yet is uncomfortable in celebrating him because he is so outspoken about his faith in Christ.

Another segment of our society that is increasingly becoming more hostile toward Christianity is our education system. At every turn, schools and decision-makers who determine curriculum are drawing boundary lines that punish students for standing up for what they believe.

What a perfect storm – combine our society, our schools, and an enemy who wishes to prevent people from knowing Jesus Christ and living a life that glorifies Him, and you have a Christ-unfriendly environment.

Passing the Test in School
Just last weekend I took a busload of junior high kids to a conference about the origins and trustworthiness of the Bible. We had a chance to talk about the things that prevented them from walking closely with Jesus. Wow! I so value their candidness and transparency, as they shared quite a variety of roadblocks that stood in their way.

They mentioned how difficult it is to resist compromising their values because of the mockery of their peers. The guilt that goes along with compromise also was a roadblock. Other kids mentioned the high levels of stress at home that made following Jesus hard.

One of the high school seniors in our youth group transferred from a Christian school to a public school after eleven years. He shared with me the struggles he’s faced after transferring his sophomore year:

Two years ago I transferred to Oswego High School. It is different in so many ways. Walking through the halls, it is a totally different feel. I walked into the building for the first time knowing that because of my faith I was a minority and that all of the people who got to know me would watch to see if I was different. I have gotten to know a few other Christians but it is much harder to know who shares your faith at the public schools. Although the teachers still care about the success of their students, even if they do care about their salvation, they are not permitted to say anything about it. At the public school I have noticed much more poor behavior than I did at the Christian school. Because of the lack of rules prohibiting some things, there is far more swearing and immodest clothing which makes it hard to avoid temptation at times.

And it’s only going to get harder. To be honest, I’m glad. For one, it means that what Jesus predicted is coming true. In Mark 10:30, He explains how He will take care of His people in this age with “houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands.” But Jesus also includes in that list of what will be coming our way the certainty of “persecutions.” This age, while we will have all of our needs provided for, we will still walk around with a target on our backs. As we grow in maturity in Christ, and as our circles of Christian influence expand, so does the bulls’ eye. Satan will do all he can to disarm us, to dissuade us, to discourage us, to depress us, to debilitate us, to distract us, to deal us the death blow.

Not the End of the Story
If that were the end of the story, I’d have reason to give up right now. However, praise the Lord, the rest of Mark 10:30 reminds us of what’s on the other side: “…and in the age to come, eternal life.”
While this age will have the mix of God’s blessings and the enemy’s attacks, the age to come will be nothing but the blessings that come from being in the presence of God Almighty! Our state of perfect communion with the Father will be restored. The promise of Revelation 21: 3 – 4 will be fulfilled, and it’s gonna be AMAZING!!!!

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Another reason why I welcome the coming persecution is that it will help the American church to fully commit to following Christ (or not). The individuals who make up the church will gravitate toward being “hot” or “cold,” and the lukewarmth that the Lord detests will dissipate. It will be uncomfortable. It will be painful. It will be heartbreaking. It will be hard.

But God is faithful!

Your Story
Share with me – what are the things in your life that make it difficult to live your life for Jesus Christ? How have you been able to overcome them?

Legacy of Despair

My mother was quite adept at her use of the English language – her vocabulary was impressive, her grammar impeccable, and her writing engaging. Although she did graduate from high school, her depth of learning came from her own initiative. She was largely self-taught when it came to language arts.

She was also a lifelong musician, having played the piano from the time she was five until her death at 57. During her younger years, she was also quite the vocallist. Both areas of music garnered her quite a bit of success and potential collegiate attention, though she never attended due to circumstances out of her control. Our family certainly benefited, enjoyed, and to varying degrees carried on her musical legacy.

I happened upon an old poem she had written, probably at least 30 years ago. She’s been gone now for almost 16 years, but I’m thankful to have bits and pieces of her legacy, including her music and writing. Her poem, though, deeply troubles me. I think my mom battled with depression most of her life, and this poem, entitled “Despair,” is suffused with hopelessness.

From my understanding, most types of depression are not hereditary, except for maybe manic depression or bi-polar. But what is handed down through generations are ways in which we handle the stressors in our lives. I know my mom withdrew when she was under stress. So do I. She had a fiery temper which flared when she was under stress. Until I was about 20, so did I. When things got significantly difficult for my mom, she had an escapist mentality – she had things that she clung to beyond moderation to try to take the edge off of stress. I’ve seen that trend in my own life. Bottom line – I appreciate the legacy she left behind, her writing, her musicality. But she, in part, helped pass on to me a less-than-ideal way of handling small and big stresses.

I am not saying that she is to blame for my severe depression that I’ve been climbing out of for the last 11 months. However, I believe I have followed the model she set for me in handling tough stuff for the majority of my childhood and adult life.

Reading my mom’s poem is a renewed wake-up call for me. How did I used to cope with stress? How do I handle it now, now that I’m aware of my depression, now that I am aware of what triggers my knee-jerk reactions to stress? Am I making progress?

I want to encourage each of us to take inventory of what we do under pressure, under stress, in the midst of difficulties. Write down all the habits and thought patterns that you revert to by default. Examine them each carefully and determine whether they are healthy and helpful. If not, talk the list over with someone you trust. Ask them for advice and accountability in trying to overcome those things. Pray and ask for God’s supernatural help, that He’d transform those stress reactions. Replace any of those negative stress reactions with productive, positive things. Learn to talk through your frustrations with people in constructive ways. Discover new hobbies. Take a daily walk. Whatever it takes to turn the tide on detrimental behaviors related to stress.

Here is a copy of my mom’s poem. While it’s well written, it’s sad, melancholy. Enjoy and appreciate her words in an artistic sense, as I do. More importantly, let her poem be a compelling reminder of how stress can suck the joy out of life. Conversely, if stress is handled properly, we open ourselves up to many avenues of joy we otherwise would have missed out on.

Despair

Oh, for the gift of tongues
That I might speak of that
Which is hidden in the
Deep, dark corners of my mind!

I have struggled -in vain-
To plumb the depths of my very soul
To find some breath of reality –
Just some hint of meaning.

Long have I probed
With cold, cruel fingers –
Trying to penetrate the
Very core of my feeblemindedness.

But look! See there?!
A small glimmer of light!
The light of truth, and
The reason for these truths:

The reason for death and destruction –
Hatred and cruelty; the reason for
Sorrow and pain, agony and heartache;
The reason for living.

It is the light of hope!
Hope for your world -and mine
And for all the worlds to come –
And ————the light of love!

Oh, no! ——–Please, no! It’s gone!
The light is gone! And now,
Now, truth, reason and love
Shall remain unrevealed—

Locked up in this —- this
Damnable dungeon —
Buried in this grey, cold
Lump of clay —
To lie there —
Meaningless —-
Forever!

~Bette Miller~

let’s NOT talk about the weather…

I just returned from the Chicago area, where I used to live. I got to spend ten days with some very good friends, and I want to share snapshots of the connective conversations I had the joy of engaging in with new acquaintances and old friends. Very grateful for the sharing of real life!

We spoke….
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About the futility of superficial relationships

About the gift of enthusiastic, genuine encouragement

About the usefulness of discontentedness in this life, that it points us to the only One who can satisfy

About the importance of communication in marriage and family relationships

About the joy of hard work

About the need for love, respect, and forgiveness in relationships

About the real-life weight of battling depression

About ministering to those who are depressed and suicidal

About the difficulties of and the need to love the unloveable

About the power of God through prayer (as opposed to “the power of prayer”)

About the roles of Scripture memory and worship in the on-the-spot fight against temptation

About the need to make your faith your own, and not taking for granted your parents’ faith

About the value of godly parenting

About the beauty of music

About the joy of singing with good friends

About the pleasure of reading good books

About the craft of writing about anything that happens to come your way in life

About the nature of the church in America, that it is being largely transformed by culture, and not so much the other way around

About the abundance of God’s provision

About the overwhelming beauty of God’s handiwork in creation

About the nature and value of discomfort in ministry

About the need to stay focused on the relational aspect of our walk with Christ as our motivation for obedience

About the necessity of avoiding being bound by the law or taking advantage of God’s grace (or, the need to find the middle area of the pendulum-swing between the two extremes)

About the danger of blindly following a human being who claims to have the corner market on truth

About the privilege of feeling like a part of the family, wherever true fellowship exists

About the life-giving nature of meaningful relationships
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Many thanks to the Lord for the opportunity to connect with some exceptionally wonderful, fun, enjoyable people over the course of the last ten days!

I Must Go West….

Many months have crawled through the calendar since I last saw a movie that so deeply touched me, challenged me, convicted me, and inspired me as The Book of Eli has tonight. I’m visiting friends in the Chicago area (again!), where I lead the youth group for a couple of years. Today a few of us went on a 12-mile canoe trip down the Fox River, and we all had a great time. Nate, the sixteen-year old I was in the canoe with, and I had a great mix of goofing around and having serious discussions. One thing we brought up was Scripture memory, and how powerful it is while fighting temptation. I was encouraged, no doubt, by our dialogue. Nate suggested that we watch the Book of Eli after we finished our canoe trek. I had heard good things about the movie, so I eagerly awaited show time…

Since I am highly recommending this movie, I promise I will not spoil the plot for you. The basic gist of the film is that the US had been obliterated by nuclear war. During the fallout, all of the Bibles had been burned, except for one. The main character, Eli, was given a directive from the Lord to carry this last copy of the Word to a specific location, all the way on the west side of the United States. Eli, played by Denzel Washington, had been walking for 30 years after the explosion. Single-mindedly, he walked across the country, facing rebels, cannibals, thieves, and other elements of darkness, focused solely on accomplishing what the Lord had commanded him to do. In addition to carrying the hardcopy of the Bible, Eli had committed to memory the ENTIRE Bible, in case he somehow lost the book.

Two major thoughts crossed my mind this evening while watching this movie. First, if my Bible were the last one on the planet, if I had to rely on the Scripture I had memorized for an entire lifetime, would I have enough? Would I recall enough of the Word if, somehow, my Bible was taken from me? Would I have God’s words so thoroughly “hidden in my heart” that I would still be spiritually fed any time I brought them to the surface? Would it be enough for a feast?

Second, how single-minded is my vision? I have goals, dreams, desires… most are good. However, if everything was boiled down to the aftermath of a nuclear holocaust, would I be capable of carrying out whatever my Father asked me to do? Would I be so concerned about my material possessions, my status, my needs, that my obedience would have constant competition? How about now, before any disaster strikes?

I am not saying these things out of a beat-up-Brandon frenzy. Not at all. These two thoughts are borne of a desire to draw closer to my Savior. I know my propensity to wander. I am aware of my tendency to get distracted. I can see my short-sightedness. In my weakness, God makes me strong. As I’ve been growing in my walk, it is becoming easier for me to acknowledge my failures and my shortcomings. Although I still try to buck the notion that I’m needy, I am. I am in constant need of the saving life of Christ. I am so grateful that He has made Himself available to us through His Word, through His Holy Spirit. I share my thankful heart here that He gives us what we need, all the time.
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Psalm 119:9-11, 15-16
“How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping your word. I have sought You with all my heart; don’t let me wander from your commands. I have treasured Your word in my heart so that I may not sin against You…..I will meditate on Your precepts and think about Your ways. I will delight in Your statutes; I will not forget Your word.”

Weapons of our Warfare….

The Turkish invasion, 2008. The voice on the loudspeaker announced, “Run, don’t walk, you’re lives are in danger. The Turks are overtaking the nation as we speak.” My brother and I were crouched together behind some military compound buildling, watching as chaos unfolded before our eyes. Bullets zinging by, debris flying all around, and people attempting to run for cover, but most of whom falling to their untimely deaths.

My brother and I were armed with pistols, and we were trying to protect those around us and ourselves from the approaching Turkish soldiers. I vividly recall shooting a couple of enemies, watching them topple to the ground. But just as one would fall, two more would come from behind the shadows.

The man who appeared to be a general began walking straight toward my brother and me, machine gun at the ready. I took aim and shot him in the shoulder, knocking him down. My brother and I were the only two Americans in our area who were left standing. We stood to try to escape, but the general gathered himself, arose, and continued to move toward Steve and me.

The last thing I remember is feeling a sense of sad defeat as my eyes closed for the last time.
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I don’t normally dream such bizarre, macabre dreams, but when I do, I ponder warfare, battle, and the possibility of victory and defeat. When that general got back to his feet after I had shot him, I had a sense that my weapons were useless. Although my pistol vanquished other members of the encroaching army, the general was too powerful for me.

In looking at the things that have hit me this weekend, the bullets Satan has launched at me, I need to remember who it is I’m fighting against, which weapons I’m supposed to use.

Eph 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Also, the weapons that I often try to use to combat the enemy are useless – whether relying on my own strength, hiding from the enemy, or pretending he’s not in our camp. I’m encouraged by 2Corinthians 10:4 “for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.”

There is a real battle going on, and we are engaged. I’ve seen brothers fall because of not using the armor of God, the spiritual weapons God gives. I’ve seen myself nearly become a casualty of war because of not using heavenly tools of battle. I’m wounded, but I still have the ability to fight these battles with God’s resources and His strength.

While I don’t believe Turkey will be the next country to try to invade the U.S., I definitely believe Satan has launched a full-scale invasion on Christians today. He’s trying to carve us each away from the body of Christ, out of fellowship with Jesus and with our brothers and sisters in the battle. He’s trying to render our weapons useless. But he’s not invincible. My dream ended poorly, but I’m eternally grateful that the real war’s outcome is already decided. I can’t wait to stand with my Savior under the banner of victory God plans on waving for the universe to behold!